Cards Against Humanity

White Card Ideas

These are in no particular order - it'd probably be a good idea to double-check your ideas against the list using find/search before adding them.

Idea C&C's Deck? Ted's Deck
A 400-lb woman in a Leeloo Dallas costume No No
$20,000-per-cc horse jism Yes No
Accidental tooth incursion No No
Anal leakage No No
Aquaman's pathetic pussy tears Yes No
Artisanal balls No No
An ass that's been tapped like a keg No No
Baboon's-butt red No No
A BAC of 0.314 No No
Barking like a dog during orgasm No No
Basing an American TV show on a British TV show that was based on an American TV show Yes No
Beaming up the little captain No No
Beefin' over Smurfs Yes No
Being all about the body humps No No
Being all out of fucks to give Yes No
Being fat and stupid No No
Being handcuffed to the rotting corpse of Barbara Walters No No
Being hired as a scene-filler on a porno but sucking a dick anyway Yes No
Being "not wrong" No No
Being so excited you poop your drawers No No
A binicorn shitting a rocket launcher No No
A bodily orifice that tastes exactly like strawberries No No
Boring procreative sex Yes No
Brownton Abbey No No
Bruce Campbell's chin No Yes
Bruce Campbell's chin's chin No Yes
Butt cheeks like a hippo No No
Butt sex like a hippo No No
Butt vomit No No
Buttholes No No
A butt plug the size of a baby's head No No
Calling sex "serving some fish and dicks" Yes No
The camptown ladies No No
Cat photo archives misleadingly labeled as "pussy pics." No No
A cat riding around on a dog No No
A cat tunnel stuffed with dead, rotting cat carcasses No No
Cheap Chinese nipple clamps No No
A Chief Engineer with a holographic fuck-buddy No No
Club sauce No No
The Code of Hammurabi No No
Coming up on your mudflaps No No
A complete garbage person No No
A condom full of Activia yogurt Yes No
A corn storm No No
Courtney Stotten No No
Courtney Stotten's laugh No No
Curtains literally made of meat No No
A dance song that is just samples of a rap song that is just samples of an R&B song Yes No
A degree in spermatology No No
Deliberately mispronouncing words in front of English majors Yes No
A Dexter-style kill room No No
Dick Lake, or Lake Priapus No No
A dick with a baby coming out No No
The Dixie dump No No
Dog farts No No
Doggie-style high fives No No
Drunken Robot Pornography No No
My dykey boots No No
Eating sushi off a hairy Armenian man Yes No
Effluvium Yes No
Eggs farting egg farts No No
An endless parade of burger puns No No
An engineer with a holographic fuck-buddy No No
Extra nipples flanking my bellybutton Yes No
The fact that that one of the pancakes totally looks like a dong. No No
Faking psychic powers to get out of household chores No No
Feisty fucks No No
A felching hat No No
A fetching hat No No
Fighting a Honda instead of E. Honda No No
A food critic who immediately pooh-poohs everything he eats. No No
The Fuck Sub No No
Fucktoberfest Yes No
A fully-erect dik-dik Yes No
Furious jizz No No
FurnitureSex.com. No No
Genital chafing due to overfucking Yes No
George Takei in heat No No
George Takei's new fragrance, Eau Mai. No No
Gersberms No No
Getting headshot while teabagging the corpse. No No
The Glow Cloud. ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD. No No
The goddamn Batman No No
Going full frittata No No
Grinding my Wilhelm No No
A hardworking party Mexican Yes No
Having anuses for eyes No No
Having basically no gag reflex. No No
Hedgehogging No No
Hiding your tattoos under a thick layer of bodily filth No No
A hippopotagator No No
Holiday sauce No No
Holidays sauce No No
Holodeck accidents that rip off public domain books No No
A Hufflepuffagus No No
Human matter baby batter No No
The Ice Cream Bunny No No
Ingrown pubic hair No No
Inserting a Mason jar into my anus No No
James Bondage No No
Jerking off and then throwing your ejaculate at Jodie Foster Yes No
Jesus Marion Joseph No No
A jowl job No No
A kennel for dogs who are poor No No
A Kipper or red herring No No
Lady boner No No
Laughing a brown streak No No
Lazy boner No No
Lazy Rider No No
Lean LaQueefa No No
Lesbian Sex Camp. No No
Lickspittle No No
A literal bearded clam No No
Making a Trollsona No No
The Marrying Turkey No No
Meat curtains No No
Medically-accurate animal-penis dildos No No
The Melty Man: Darth Vader without the helmet No No
Moldy poop cheese No No
Neil de Grasse Tyson Yes No
The Oak Ridge Boys fist-fighting the Doobie Brothers No No
Obsessively counting and recounting my nipple hairs Yes No
One a' them 'asiatics.' No No
Parents who'll listen. No No
Parkinson's porn No No
Parody porn without a clever title No No
Peeking into a box you wish you hadn't peeked into No No
Pen Island. No No
Pining for the fjords No No
Polychromatic Funk Monkey No No
Pumping buffalo No No
Putting his belly on your back No No
Reclaimed wood No No
Religiously shaving my scrotal sack No No
Remaking good movies by just adding more lens flares No No
Removing ribs to look more like Barbie No No
Repetitive Stress Injuries suffered from excessive masturbation No No
A righteous ejaculation No No
Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy No No
Rotten car wax that smells like a dead body No No
A rug that really tied the room together No No
Running a train while on a train No No
Running out of semen No No
Rusted-out pickup trucks on blocks in the front yard No No
Saccharine-sweet Disney pop No No
The sand-filled toothy vagina of Tatooine No No
A scorching case of herpes Yes No
The Seether. No No
Seven STDs and a drinking problem Yes No
Sexual frustration so great you fuck a pillow (or Muppet?) No No
A shart attack Yes No
A shit from which you can never recover No No
Shit-caked anal fissures No No
Singing the National Anthem with your dick in your hand No No
Six marbles through the penis hole Yes No
Six (who is a robot) No No
A slow-motion replay of getting headshot while teabagging the corpse. No No
The Smegma of Christ No No
Smoked man-muscle No No
"Smuppets" No No
A Snarftopus No No
A snarktopus No No
Snorting a line of mercury No No
Something that bleeds for five days but just won't die No No
The song "Put It in My Mouth" by Akinyele No No
Sowing my seeds of love No No
Squicking to Geico No No
Sticking your dick in crazy No No
A super-flaming George Takei No No
A super-hot virgin with natural C-cups and an ass that tastes like wild berries. No No
Surprise Buttseks No No
Sweet, sweet candy - bam! No No
Taking single bites out of every chocolate in the box No No
Taking the vowels out of all the words No No
Tappin' that mana No No
Tea. Earl grey. Hot. No No
Teabagging the corpse. No No
This here Karl Malone No No
Three dicks at the same time No No
Three penis wine No No
The Thundercats' ho No No
Torso shorts No No
Trickle-down boobonomics No No
Vinegar strokes No No
Wanting to bang-a Topanga No No
When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst No No
White people who think they're black people No No
The Wu Tang Clan eating out TLC Yes No
Your buffalo shot No No
Zazzing it up with Zataran's No No
Zucchini throw pillows No No
No No
No No
No No
No No
No No

Black Card Ideas

Idea C&C's Deck? Ted's Deck
<blank> is sneaky, but <blank> is cheeky. No No
The Apollo 13 near-disaster's root cause was <blank>. No No
Finding the high-speed whisper-quiet spinning spike <blank>. No No
Hello, my baby; hello, my darling. Hello my <blank>. No No
I can't understand you. It sounds like you have <blank> in your mouth. No No
If you like it, then you should have put <blank> on it. No No
If you like it, what should you give it? No No
And lead us not into <blank>, but deliver us from <blank>. No No
My parents went to Jamaica and all I got was <blank>. No No
Oh lord Jesus, please save our souls from <blank>. No No
On a date, what's your complete deal breaker? No No
"Welcome to Feed Dump, where we are all <blank>." No No
You're listening to <blank> and <blank> in the morning on 104.7 The Ballz! No No
"You've got to get out of here. <blank> is haunted!" No No
No No
No No
No No
No No
No No
No No
No No
No No
No No
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No No
No No
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No No
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No No

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