The Perfect Couple

Maleos: Maleos approaches you while you're on watch one night. You'd notice the light from that damned compass as he walks up from behind. You can probably hear him coming. It's familiar, by this point. Any reaction?

Darias: Nope. Well, that kinda depends on what dreams we get and when, but probably Darias just nods to you and goes back to scanning the trees.

Maleos: He gets close enough that hopefully only you can hear him if he speaks at a low tone, and then he murmurs, in Isle-speak: "Dare, you roguish bastard, you've done it again."

Darias: He cocks his head and looks at you quizically.

Maleos: "I mean, Rido was one thing. But now the aelphin? Clearly you're more of a ladies man than I ever suspected. The entire continent is at risk."

Darias: His eyes narrow and he starts looking at you like you've been drinking sea water. (Responding in Isle-Speak) "What are you talking about?"

Maleos: Oh, Maleos is clearly exuding sarcasm by this point. :)

Maleos: "Don't play dumb. I saw the way she was looking at you. Those long, lingering looks across the battlefield. That gentle caress to your ribcage as she handed you her bow. The shouting. The insults. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were already married."

Darias: "If you're smitten, you can have her."

Maleos: "Oh, I wouldn't dream of coming between you. I can't take those kinds of hits. But, ah… I'm a little worried that if you piss her off one more time, she's going kick your ass like one of those bar fights in Brightmill."

Maleos: (Shocking bakcstory plot twist: One time Darias got into a scrape and it didn't go his way for some reason. If this doesn't work for you, I'm open to suggestions for something better. I just need an example of one time in the past Dare bit off more than he could chew.)

Darias: I'm sure there are more than one of those situations.

Maleos: I figured. :)

Darias: "I don't really give a damn if she likes me or not. If it's such a big deal for you, maybe you should come up with some kind of magic spell to pry the stick out of her bony ass, and knock the rocks out of her dainty little head."

Darias: said in a half-acerbic/half-joking manner

Maleos: *chuckles softly* "I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, Darias. Different race. Different culture. This isn't about whether she 'likes you' or not. I call you an asshole, you call me a half-wit, and we have a good laugh about it afterwards. You imply that her fighting skills aren't up to snuff, she takes it *personally…*" *suddenly remembers something, and has to stifle a laugh. "Did you know… if you were an aelph, she would have already demanded a duel by now? An actual duel! Like in the olden days!"

Darias: "How romantic."

Maleos: "And the really weird part is, apparently the point of the duel isn't to decide who's *right…* the point of the duel is to force a public apology. That's literally all she wants, Darias. An apology from you. Maybe a little gods-damned respect. Is that too much to ask? Because if it is, I may need to start Silencing you just to keep the group from falling apart."

Darias: He looks off to the right, smiles a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, then turns back to you and says, "If she wants an apology, she's going to be waiting a while."

Maleos: *sucks in a deep breath through his teeth, heaves it out as a sigh*  "Whelp.  I tried.  Looks like you're bound and determined to stride face-first into one more bar-room brawl.  At least we know there won't be any pepper stew involved this time around.  This place doesn't serve it…"  *starts to walk away…*  "Oh, but I'm gonna be laughing when she knocks you on your ass.  Nothing personal, you understand.  It's just that my best friend's about to get beaten up by a girl."

Darias: In a more friendly tone, he says over his shoulder, "Just remember it's not going to be easy walking all these miles with that book of spells lodged halfway up your ass…"

Maleos: *strolls off*  "And I can tie your shoelaces together at thirty paces."

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